Dance: the Good, the Bad, the Everything.

Hey everyone, welcome back to my blog!! As you can tell, this week's post is about dance and seeing as it is probably the root of my social life, I can definitely talk about it all day, everyday. I could make this super deep and philosophical by referencing a bit of Shakespeare when he said 'all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players' from the very iconic As You Like It, but surprisingly, there is more to me than philosophy. We also currently have a summer show coming up and this summer show is done every other year so this could be one of my final moments dancing with my friends in my current company which I have been getting very sentimental about recently. Also a side note (because I want the world to know how annoying siblings are) I told my sister I was going to go in the shower and SHE RAN STRAIGHT IN and she has been in the shower for the past God knows how long and it's really irritating.

When I tell people I dance, I get the exact few responses. These responses are: 'I did ballet when I was three and then I quit' or 'the only reason you dance is because other sports are too violent' (little do they know I am literally a lacrosse goalkeeper) and the final response I get is 'wow, that requires a lot of skill and is highly demanding, kudos to you'. I have only received the latter one twice and it's usually from ex-dancers but you know what, it's the response that makes me the happiest. 

Anyways, quite frankly, I'm not surprised most people quit dance. It takes up more time than any sport I have ever done. It requires you to be incredibly strong (not to flex but I definitely have nicer back muscles than some of my gym friends xx) and the amount of time I've dedicated to my flexibility is INSANE. You are essentially bending the human body in ways that aren't meant to be bended, put in shoes that require you to balance on the complete tips of your toes, need to extend every single part of your body to look elongated and muscular all while remembering a dance, performing it countless times until it's perfect or until you pass out and finally, smiling through all the pain on stage.

The surroundings of the dance world (ballet in particular) are very well known to be the most toxic industry ever. I see posts on Instagram which normalise a lot of things that shouldn't be normalised. Things like (TW: ED's, overexercise) eating a single meal a day in order to make sure that you are always the skinniest in the room or working out and stretching your body to its limits while on unhealthy diets in order to make sure you are always the best dancer. The strongest, the most flexible, the most graceful, the skinniest, the most elegant, the teacher's favourite. For years, dancers have always strived to be these qualities and well honestly, it leads to much more damage than good. I am very lucky that my dance studio is not really that toxic and my friends or I haven't been through the extremes of this but whenever I talk to my friends about dance they always look at me like I'm a crazy girl who is constantly dancing as if I am out of breath and dance is the last bit of oxygen in the planet. 

I can admit, I have a bad habit of overworking myself and wanting to be the best in everything I do (not just dance) but being thrown into the deep end of the world of dance and dance on social media can really impact people. The most important thing for me is to remind myself why I dance. I dance because it makes me feel things that nothing else in this world can make me feel, I dance because I really enjoy it and I don't think I could ever imagine my life without it. Reminding myself of these things every so often helps me make sure I don't spiral into a world of my own, telling me no matter how hard I train, I'll never be good enough. I consider it a grounding exercise as it quite literally brings me back to rationality.

I feel like I've said a lot about the bad side but sometimes it is important to shed light on these matters. If you have a dancer friend who's been a bit down lately or you've seen some significant changes in them, please do check up on them because it's easy to let it consume your entire life.

Despite all this, I would never trade dance for anything in the world. I know I could never make it big as a dancer for multiple reasons (I'm Asian, I'm tall, I should be doing much more intense training right now, the list could go on forever really), dance is something I don't think I could ever let go of. It helps me release emotions in such a passionate way through music and moving my body. The feeling of dancing on stage is also just exhilarating. 

I remember when I went to this dance show with a bunch of other dance schools and some girls in my company were not really that nice to me. By not nice I mean full on bullying, they used to hide my costumes, film me, call me, comment mean things on my posts and well it wasn't good at all. I remember they hid my costume before this big dance show, which was also my first dance show I had been in. I got really anxious and had a bad breakdown in the toilets, I was throwing up and shaking and didn't even know if I would make it on stage. My friend at dance had found my costume and helped me calm down a bit which is something I will never thank her enough for. I put on my costume, redid my makeup and decided not to let others ruin the things I enjoy. I got on stage and just the feeling of the lights, the loud music and the crowd watching just made me feel so good. I danced really well that day, not only with good technique but with emotion and every time I dance on stage, it feels like I'm back home. 

The home concept in dance is such a changing thing. You dance in different places all the time and every time you dance on stage could be your last. No matter what changes occur, the one thing that stays in common is that feeling that you're home whenever you're dancing. The comfort of letting your body loose and expressing yourself in a way that is so unique and so different to every other person around you. Even if a group of dancers learnt the same dance, I can assure you it will still look different just because of the way the performance is delivered, the individual emotions each person feels when they do the exact same movements is something that will still blow my mind whenever I watch dances.

That's why I will always agree that dance is not a sport. Dance is so much more than a sport, it requires the physical strength of a bodybuilder, the flexibility of a contortionist, the balance of a yoga instructor and the grace of, well, a dancer. I think dance is an art, everyone can train hard and do well in a sport but I feel like dance is so much more than that, training and hard work won't get you anywhere near the front because everyone has that, it's the raw passion and emotion that really makes an impact and that's something I will have a never ending respect for.

I hope you enjoyed this week's post, I know I kind of just rambled on about something that most of you guys don't care about but I guess I do that every week on here hahaha. Contemporary today was really fun, we ran through our dance a few times and we showed it to the adult tap class and the contemporary class below us and then we also watched their performances. I sometimes forget how strong my friendships are in dance, there are really some people who I see every week and wonder how my half term will go without seeing them for a whole week. Oh gosh I really need to stop otherwise this post genuinely won't end, see you all next week, love you guys <33