Hey guys, welcome back to my blog, honestly, this is a bit of a random post and it all stemmed from a game of chess. It might sound a bit odd but I’ll get onto that later.
I managed to play a game of chess this weekend without wanting to cry. The reason chess makes me upset is because I always remember my grandfather would ask me if I wanted to play chess with him and I would play with him when I was younger but frankly, I’m awful at chess. As I started to get older I’d refuse him because I’d always lose and eventually the thing I lost was one of the main ways I’d bond with him. After he passed away, I really regretted not playing chess with him. Even though he was the chess master and I’d lose every single time, the one thing I wish I did was play a freaking game.
I’m still awful at chess and I got beaten by a literal 12 year old but the point of it is that I managed to honour something that was so dear to my grandfather. I was able to change the association between chess and regret to chess and good memories.
Grief
Losing someone is such a strange thing when you think about it. You go from being with them everyday to only remembering the good times you had, overnight. It’s something that takes a long time to get accustomed to and honestly, it’s not really something that anyone wants to get used to. Sometimes I still expect my grandfather to call me up and ask me what food dish we should experiment with together. Some part of me will never be able to accept that he’s gone but I’m able to accept that he’s left a positive impact on my life and I’m able to spread the things I’ve learnt from him to other people and just try my best to make everyone’s day that little bit better. I guess something I will always follow is that you never know what someone is going through or has been through, it costs nothing to be a kind person.
I know last week I said I had a fun post planned for this week, trust me, this isn’t the fun post. I just thought I should write a little something about grief because it is an important part of everyone’s lives and I feel like many people overlook it because it is quite an uncomfortable topic.
Whatever comes on this planet has to go someday and no matter how expected it may be, it’s never easy to accept.
Sometimes you don’t grieve literal deaths, but you may miss yourself or parts of your life before transformation. It is completely valid to feel that way. Things change in life but life still goes on, even if you may not be prepared to go with it. The most important part is that you’re able to allow yourself to feel ways that you may have never felt before and to not lose sight of who you are despite feeling like everything around you may feel like it’s crumbling down. There are many rough patches in life but they’re patches for a reason, they don’t last. Some people may say that good times don’t last forever, but neither do the bad ones. Honestly it depends on your perspective in life I guess.
I know this week’s post was a bit heavy, especially if you’re reading this in the morning, but I am sending so much love, happiness and healing to every single one of you. I am also sending so much positivity to all the souls we have lost, especially in these tough few years. Thank you so much for reading this post, I hope to see you guys next week, where I have a much happier post, love you <33
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