Uncertainty

 Hey guys, welcome back to my blog!! Firstly, Happy Diwali to everyone who celebrates it and to those who don’t, I wish you all a life full of light and happiness. This week’s post not be up to my regular standard because I am literally writing this on the coach, my timetable this week has been so hectic, I’ve got 3 tests and so much homework to do :( On the other hand, Paris was so fun, I had such an amazing time and it was so nice to take a bit of a break from life. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this week’s post!!

Spontaneity 

What is spontaneity? Well google says: “performed or recurred as a sudden impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimuli.” I have always considered myself a spontaneous person. I love to make decisions last minute and just live life as if comes along. I know, it sounds like the most Sagittarius thing to say, but it’s true. The idea of planning things in advance sometimes stresses me out because then I have more time to overthink things and it just gets me a bit anxious because I don’t really want to be “tied down” by plans but recently I’ve just been so on edge about things I usually don’t worry about.

Change

The past few years, there have been so many changes: all of the lockdowns, the unreliability with what the government was saying about our GCSE exams, starting sixth form, the overload and complete change in lifestyle when it comes to starting sixth from. I could keep on going on but it has been a bit of a whack few years and as much as I still do love being spontaneous about some things in life, all of this constant change has kind of stressed me out. Especially recently, teachers have been telling us to start doing more things to put in university personal statements and thinking of courses and the list never ends. I am generally really good with adapting to change but I’ve kind of felt a bit left behind in life, struggling to catch up while the rest of the world is moving forward.

The Future

I’ve never really been one to stress out about the future but I’ve kind of realised that I have so many interests and hobbies that now, when I have to start deciding on picking a single subject, or maybe a couple, to study at university I’ve really been finding it difficult. I have come to the final decision of wanting to study philosophy at university but I have absolutely no idea where it will take me or what I’ll do after. 

I remember one day I was telling my dad that I wished I was just a stereotypical Asian student who wanted to do medicine or engineering and have a solid job after it and my dad simply replied with “because you’re not a stereotypical Asian student” and that small statement kind of made me realise that it’s ok to not have your entire life figured out and as long as you spend time doing the things you love, even if it’s medicine hahaha, that’s all that matters.

Recently I’ve been thinking into different career paths, just to explore my options and one thing I was looking at was going into counselling or maybe therapy. I really enjoy helping people and I love trying to understand people. I am an empath and until I learn to control that a bit, this option is definitely a no but it would be something I could consider.

My Dreams

Honestly, the fist thing I ever wanted to be, aside from a rockstar and formula 1 racer, was a chef. My first love has always been making people happy through food. Now that I’ve grown up a bit I’ve realised I still would love to run maybe a small cafe. Nothing too big but something comforting, a warm place where everyone feels welcomed, maybe some books in a corner, lots of plants and crystals and homemade cakes which will comply with multiple dietary requirements. I remember when I was in year 2, we had to write a small thing for a yearbook about what we wanted to be when we were older and I still remember what I wrote about being a chef. I want to make people happy through food and make desserts suitable for everyone to eat so nobody can miss out on the good food.

Someday, I’d like to think that these dreams will come true but I’ve learnt that not everything in life is in your hands, especially things that are so far away from the present. This is your sign to stop worrying about something so far away and live life in the moment, If you spend too much time stressing about the future, you’ll lose focus and miss good times and opportunities in the present. Treasure the present for it’s a gift.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s post, and hopefully see you next week!! Happy Diwali again, love you guys <33