Getting to Know Yourself + Reassurance for Reaching Out

Hey everyone, I hope you have all had a good week! Today's post is going to be quite an open and vulnerable post. The past week or so has been quite crappy to be frank. I kind of knew what was happening because (despite being so vulnerable and open about my feelings on here) I am usually really bad at talking about my feelings or even just allowing myself to feel emotions at times. I have been on edge all week and today (Wednesday) one last thing happened that just tipped me off the edge. It wasn't anything serious but I just cried for all of my lunch time and I couldn't physically get myself to go to games. I knew it was bad because I NEVER miss sport. I am very grateful to have some amazing friends who sat with me throughout lunch time reassuring me and reminding me that it's ok to cry and that it's ok to rely on others for help. 

Sometimes we reach a point in life where we really begin to question things. The deeper we go, the more answers we seek and the more answers we receive, the more satisfaction we get. I've found that the more we question the more we realise there aren't really any fixed answers to anything and things are constantly changing. Now many of you may say 'two plus two has always equaled four' but I'm not really talking about trivial knowledge, I'm rather talking about general knowledge or rather knowledge about ourselves. 

There are two ways to get to know yourself, one way is definitely better than the other but I believe you don't really have a choice because it all depends on the way that life plays out. The first way to get to know yourself is by taking an inward spiritual journey. It sounds intense but it isn't really as much as it seems, it can be as simple as meditating for a few minutes a day or journaling your feelings, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel your best etc. The second way is much more intense. I find that people always find their 'true self' when they go through hard times or if they've grown up as misunderstood. When you go through a difficult event, you try to figure out why it happened and some part of that includes asking yourself if you were the cause. This leads you to trying to understand your surroundings and then eventually trying to understand yourself. When you grow up misunderstood, you always want to try and understand the world around you in order to fit in. Speaking from experience, I always tried to understand the world and deeper aspects of it. I got into trying to learn personality types, learning to read people's body language, astrology, tarot and the list never ends. It's a long journey trying to get to know yourself and I don't think anyone will ever fully know themself and I think there is something quite tragically romantic about it (words taken straight from the icon Anne Shirley Cuthbert). 

I know I said there are two ways to get to know yourself but I actually just realised there is a third way. Sometimes you feel incredibly confused and feel neither happy or sad and you don't know what's wrong. Many people go to therapy to help them sort this out. Of course therapies and counselling is also used for mental health but I sometimes think people forget that people reach out to these people when they need a bit of guidance or a helping hand. Honestly, I keep forgetting the difference between therapy and counselling so if I use them interchangeably then please take it with a pinch of salt. This is just a reminder that it is ok to reach out for help. If you feel lost, confused or in simple words, just need help, please reach out for it. Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you a burden and it most definitely will help you. There are always going to be people around you who are willing to listen to you and are willing to help you so please (consensually because we don't vibe with trauma dumping) speak to them if you need to. You do not need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and you do not need to fix anyone or anything. Prioritise yourself because at the end of the day, everything in life in temporary and if you are not happy with the person you are, it makes dealing with the constant change in your life much harder.

I hope this week's post made some people if not all of you realise that taking care of YOURSELF should be your main priority and that there is no shame in asking for help. I have always grown up extremely unconfident and to this day I still struggle to ask for help (even with something as small as asking a question to my teacher in class) but today really helped open my eyes and see relying on people in a new light. Quite frankly, we are all dealing with life together and everyone goes through problems, you may feel like sharing your problems makes you weak but in reality, nearly everyone shares their problems with each other and it's the only way to get through life. Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful week and I shall see you next week, love you guys <33