Life Recently: Healing From Sickness, Turning 18 and Embracing My Culture

HEY EVERYONE, WELCOME TO MY BLOG!! Sorry for the all caps, I've just missed writing and it's only been a week. This week's post is a bit all over the place because I've been a bit all over the place, enjoy!

Unfortunately, I have been really sick. Like REALLY sick. I rarely get ill but apparently when I do, it seems to be awful which sucks because I was off school for an entire week. I have never taken a week off school in my whole life so everyone was super shocked when I didn't come in, including me. I don't really know what had happened, I had a really bad cold and fluctuating temperatures but kept testing negative for covid. It got to a point where I couldn't even sit up and no matter what I did I felt uncomfortable which sucked. The worst part for me was not being there for my lacrosse team. I wasn't able to play in a match last minute and I know if I was there in goal, we could've won the match. Also I hated not being able to do anything like I just got really bored all day. I have been at school since Monday but I've been really defeated. I feel like not being able to do anything physically really made me feel low mentally and this entire week has been havoc. I'm struggling to catchup with schoolwork I missed because I have no free periods and teachers are moving so fast I'm getting really overwhelmed. I had my first cry for a long time yesterday in school which was really awkward because I hate crying in front of people. I'm so grateful I have such amazing friends who didn't make me feel weak for showing emotions because every time I cry in front of people I internally tell myself off and I have no idea why, I need to stop doing that.

Anyways, it's been a rough week and a bit but I have been getting better. My voice still sounds like a boy going through puberty and my laugh sounds like a crying old man but you know what, we're getting there slowly but steadily. I didn't go to lacrosse again this week just because everything has been going downhill and I just needed a break from everything. Instead I did some mechanics homework to take my mind off of being sick and put my mind on remembering how bad I am at maths. 

On a brighter note, I'M EIGHTEEN. I turned eighteen last Wednesday and spent my day with my cousin who flew down from Boston as a surprise which was really lovely. I watched the High School Musical movies with her and also watched Hercules because throwbacks make everything better. Despite spending my actual birthday in bed, I still had a really good time. I also had a party which is quite surprising for me. I rarely attend parties because I find them too stressful, let alone host one. I mainly did it so everyone in my family could gather together as it's been a long time since everyone's seen each other. I also knew everyone in school was stressed and tired so I wanted everyone to just have a night where they could let their hair down and drink and dance. I still haven't tried alcohol and I don't really know if I want to. The smell of it puts me off and I don't like the idea of not being in control of myself at all times. Even though I didn't drink, I still had a really good time on the dance floor all night with my favourite people. I met some friends who I hadn't seen in a while which was really lovely too. I just can't believe I'm eighteen like I'm literally an adult. I could legally fall in love with dilfs which makes life so much better (I'm kidding) (I'm not kidding, don't tell my parents please xoxo).

Recently I've also been embracing my culture a lot. I don't know why but I've been having so many conversations with friends about being Indian and how I am so grateful to be brought up in such a rich culture (both in knowledge and spices). When I was younger I used to be embarrassed to bring in ethnic food for lunch but now I heat up my curries at school not caring what other people think. I have felt such random appreciation for Hinduism and being Indian which I am not complaining about. I just know that once my life chills out a bit, I want to learn more about my culture because as much as I try to immerse myself in my culture, I still feel quite distant because I've grown up in a place where Eurocentric views are the norm. I hope to learn more and share my knowledge on here in due time.

I hope you enjoyed this week's post! I know it wasn't anything special but one of my friends told me she likes the diary entry style posts which is comforting to hear. I was really thinking about why I even started this blog in the first place which was such a grounding experience. I reminded myself that, not only do I want to study philosophy and use this as a platform to share my knowledge, I also just want to be a relatable girl on the internet who people can rely on. I want to be that person who helps people feel happier after a hard day or provide some sort of reassurance that it's ok to not be ok all the time. I want to help make a difference in this world, not for credit but just for the satisfaction of knowing that I've given everyone the most I can give, even if it's just a hug on a bad day. Anyways, sorry for the little rant, I hope everyone has a really wonderful day and week ahead, love you guys <33